Does your little one know where they fit in in the family? Particularly if they have a younger sibling?
Here are some drawings I did with Master 4 when I noticed he felt like attention was always on younger brother and he sometimes felt like he didn’t know what his role in the family was.
Not so easy to see the drawings, but you ‘get the picture’!
I drew these drawings with him as we talked about how important he was AND also how his younger brother would also have similar roles, particularly as he got older.
This really helped so when I then had to say ‘you’ll have to wait for your brother’, ‘wait for your turn with Grandma’ or ‘show your brother how to pack away’, he had more of an intrinsic motivation as he knew this was one of his roles as big brother.
Much better than ‘you’re the oldest, that’s just how it is!’.
Would what you say your children’s roles are in your family?
Sometimes I take the boys outside to eat on their mat, then leave them alone. It is interesting to see what they do without my needing to fill their silence with talk all the time!
They don’t necessarily interact but instead take the time to notice their surroundings and also get used to each other’s company, more like the way boys know how, without the need for constant chatter.
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As parents it is so easy to walk into a room (especially after you’ve just tidied it) and only see MESS!! There is usually toys everywhere, from one end of the house to the other. I often have to remind myself of why ‘mess’ is so important to kids!! So as I write this I will use this as a mantra
“Play is the only way the highest intelligence of humankind can unfold” Joseph Chilton Pearce
This is their story:
“Mummy they are at a party”.
“Playing tug of war”.
“The pony got dressed up for the party”. Sure that is my good bangle on the ponies ear but it is for a ‘party’.
This is called ‘Parallel Play’. It is when children are involved in the same play but not really involved with each other. It is a social development stage. Miss 4 is talking to her doll asking if she would like a pony ride. Miss 2 is looking at her doll and moving it. This is all so important that children go through these stages, it helps for them to ‘learn the rules of play’ (I will post about them another time).
Now this is ‘social play’!! Miss 4 is directing the play but each of them have their roles in the play and they are being part of the ‘play’.
This is the greatest thing to see as a parent, your children playing harmoniously together, sure it might only last 2 minutes, but the peace and quiet is easily worth the mess.