You live and you learn! I am getting good at at least looking back on a crazy day and realising where I went wrong. It does help to at least change for the better, next time!
It was monday morning, facing my husband away for the week and I had a head cold. The one where your ear drums are bulging, your head is pounding, and the snot just keeps on coming. Master 1 and 3 also had their snot taps running. Master one was also teething and at that point where as soon as you put him down….’waaaaaaahhh’! Great.
After a couple of hours of crazy breakfast time, getting dinner in the slow cooker, wiping a snotty nose about once every two minutes and dealing with the two boys whinging and fighting, I couldn’t get out of the house quick enough. One of those days when you feel lousy for getting out and spreading the germs but staying at home for the rest of the morning wasn’t an option, so I announced we were off to the library. Mistake #1.
In my haze, I had been thinking about how cute it is when Master 3 now holds Master 1’s hand and they walk together, so didn’t pack the stroller for the library. Mistake #2.
I got swept away with Master 3’s excitement of holding his own library card and forgetting what happened last time, I let him take it in his pocket. Mistake #3.
In my rush to get out of the car with Master 1 just crying non-stop (probably from his teeth), I didn’t take my jumper off. Mistake #4.
We got to the book returns chute and I started throwing the books down the chute in a frenzy realising I had two boys freely able to escape and run away on me and about 30 books to return.
Before I knew it, Master 3 had thrown the card straight down the chute! The only other time in his life he has cared to throw anything was my phone into the toilet.. 😦 Now remembering I’m feeling sick and already struggling to keep up with the two boys, I sigh and yell ‘you DIDN’T!!’ in front of enough people also at the returns area. I had no energy to think of a good response to Master 3 so I just picked up the bag of books that were left, plus a heavy Master 1 and quietly growl at Master 3 to ‘STAY WITH ME’, worried he could do a runner at any point.
The nice man found the card and we head back out to continue the returns. Already I was literally puffed, thirsty and could only think of a tissue.
We finally got inside and I focussed on finding some books and getting out of there. I had care factor zero that Master 1 found a ‘blunt-as-you-can-get/round-edged’ pair of scissors and was carrying them around with the end in his mouth and just managed to keep my eye on Master 3 negotiating a boy and the glue pot at the craft table. Normally I would have been on to the two of them but today I didn’t care. And the library lady was horrified enough to whip the scissors away from Master 1, slobbered and all anyway!
It was at the point I had Master 1 in my arms, (SWEATING it out with the cold roasting me and the jumper on) and I felt Master 1 do a fart, I thought, ‘let’s get out of here, if he follows through we’re up for one of his runny poos again’.
By that stage we had a bag of books and two big puzzles from the toy library and now Master 1 to carry. The cute idea for no stroller was coming back to bite me…
The library has begun to do some renovations which left me wandering around with Master 3 ready to run at any point, Master 1 still in my arms plus the books and the puzzles. And sure enough, I took too long deciding where to go and Master 3 was off – out the front door. The swearing began in my head as I yelled out to Master 1. We had a stand off at the one way door until he came back through. So by then, I was fuming and probably the most annoyed at myself for not bringing the stroller!
We finally got to a self-service checkout and still annoyed at Master 3’s flight, I snapped ‘nope, I’m scanning them today’ when he got ready for his card and book swiping routine. So instead of a helper and Master 1 waiting in the stroller, I was left with two boys with nothing to do. Master 1 has never had free reign at this point in the library and managed to run off before I realised (again me doing the crazy beeping and throwing piles of books everywhere). By the time I’d chased Master 1 and brought him back twice (managing to scan about one book each time), Master 3 couldn’t help himself. I could just see it in his eyes…
IT WAS ON – Master 3 running to the door with me yelling his name at full volume before I realised where we were. Master 1 deciding it would be fun to crawl around the library floor in the opposite direction. The boys getting their giggle on. Master 3 then running to the reserved section and ripping receipts of people’s names out of them and tossing them in the air, with me only able to watch in horror as I was over at the computer trying to swipe the books to get the hell out of there. Me chasing Master 3 and yelling out ‘TV’, as some sort of code word for there’ll be no TV if you keep running. Me fumbling around trying to put the receipts back in the books whilst trying to keep a claw on Master 3 to not run off again. Me yelling to Master 3 ‘SIT DOWN and STAY THERE’ several times with no result and eventually throwing Master 1 into his lap and growling ‘HOLD onto him’ over and over until I finished scanning all the books….
Only to realise I had the two puzzles that had to be scanned at the counter. Oh the sweat pouring off my face. Oh the thought of picking up the books, the puzzles, Master 1 and walking Master 3 with a claw on his shoulder back over to the counter and pretending like nothing crazy just happened!!! The thing was, the renovation has placed the main desk right in the middle of where we had put on the scene, in front of the self-service counter, the front door and the reserved books.
We were done, we turned around and I waltzed Master 3 (with Master 1, the books and the puzzles on me) to the car as quickly as you can imagine. We got into the car, blew noses and I let rip. ‘I am so disappointed with you, was that fun for you? It wasn’t fun for me, tell me what you did that Mummy didn’t like’…. Master 3 began with ‘I threw my card down the hole’. Well I’d forgotten about that with everything else that happened! Master 3’s next response, ‘can I have my songs on?’ and Master 1 signing for ‘music’. Uh NO.
Oh and we got home and after a bit, I realised I needed to change Master 1’s nappy. Yep the grotty poo was there and yes I probably didn’t smell it at the library with my sense of smell completely gone…! I’m sure everyone must’ve been SO GLAD once we had left!
So for the rest of that day I was feeling bad for how the morning had gone and where had we gone wrong? Was it all Master 3’s fault? Master 1 barely got any brunt. This is what I came up with:
– I had been sick and not myself…
– I should’ve made things easier and head straight to a park (not to mention saved more people from germs)
– The key undoing was no stroller for Master 1
– which would’ve saved Master 3 from doing the runner in the first place
– which would’ve allowed him to do his book scanning
– which would’ve prevented both boys from doing runners
– which would’ve prevented me from sweating, yelling and getting completely frustrated
– which would’ve also prevented the ‘scene’ we put on for the whole of the library….
– and not to forget would’ve prevented me from coming down on Master 3 for his behaviour
Since then, Master 3 has broken out in eczema again and confirmed yes his ‘ADHD’ behaviour is back with it, which also explains his need to run away from me that day, need to find something ‘mischievous’ to do, inability to really pay attention to me, and no desire to ‘do the right thing’. This time, the eczema could be from a food that he has eaten or from a lowered immunity. No idea who’s fault this one was, so I’ll feel sad for all of us that that was an extra factor that impaired our day.
And then there’s how I could’ve dealt with each behaviour much better, instead of just reacting.. That’s probably another post!
Finally, on Thursday, I was back at work and met up with the psychologist I work with. I was working away at my desk when she says out of the blue, ‘were you at the library on monday?’. My sweat broke out again!!! 🙂